Shelter at home. Don’t leave the house. You mean do just as I please? All day long? 24/7? 365? Really? That’s all I have to do to help?
Well, blast my overalls.
Okay, well if you insist. Here’s my plan to beat the coronavirus:
1. Do dishes and straighten up the house 3 times a week. (Doesn’t do to overdo.)
2. Read all my email
3. Work the Jumble and Word Roundup puzzles
4. Scan the NYT and WaPo headlines; read occasional article
5. Take care of little bits of business if necessary
6. Read stuff from The Atlantic and The New Yorker archives
7. Read more in Brontë biography
8. Read more in bathroom book (A Very Stable Genius)
9. Work on 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle
10. Read more in Mantel novel and finish reading The Forsyte Saga
11. Oh, and (almost forgot) WRITE: website piece, short stories, etc.
Finally, time to do all of the things I love to do.
But, wait a minute here. That’s all the stuff I do anyway. All my old friends in Seattle are yelling, “Stoner! Every time we ask you to a party, your first question is, ‘Do I have to leave the house?’”
Yes, it’s true. Ever since I’ve been more or less retired, ever since I got rid of the last significant other (he’s alive and well and currently in Baton Rouge), and especially ever since I left Seattle and don’t get invited out anymore, I don’t have to leave the house. Barring weekly shopping and the occasional appointment, I can sit in my office and work on stuff I like – oh, forgot to mention the scrapbook project I’m putting together for my descendants, such as they are) – whenever I want to.
Free at last! (pardon the outburst of politically incorrect white privilege)
So it turns out that the best thing I can do to help beat the coronavirus is to keep on keeping on. But if anyone gets tired of sourdough bread, try a 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle. Or a few books. Amazon still delivers.